Review for: law on my trail
reviewed by Dan Archer


Other Reviews

By: Jane Doe Brilliant! Intelligently written and yet bizarre in its own horrifying way. This story makes you think about how it actually comes to be in people....
By: Broken Kid Excellent characterization. It's interesting how fascinated we are by serial killers. We turn the scariest people - supposing they're like this character, someone who knows they're insane and is brilliant enough to survive and thrive - into heroes. This character's a frightening cross between Dexter and Hannibal Lecter. Yikes!...
By: PiperWilson It is very well written, but I also found it disturbing and creepy; which is probably the point. Perhaps I'm like a rubber-necker. I couldn't help from looking. Nice work. I noticed a typo. Near the end, "drily" should be "dryly". Very fine work....
By: proto More! Are you planning on adding to this entry? Your proposition: "Maybe, just maybe, a certain type of serial killer has never been caught." is intriguing and leaves me wanting to read more....
By: uripeleg Nicely written. I would probably have the guy kill him in a more complex fashion - would give him more character in my opinion....
By: David William Wilkin The vignette of the character only scratches the surface of what is pushing him. Then because of the lecture to the victim, sexual motivation is BS as he does nothing sexual in the kill. So it doesn't scan. It is also tell, Show don't tell would make it more dramatic....
By: DayDream enjoyed it. wish there was more !...
By: Anna shocking but it can evolve to be a brilliant thriller....
By: Upicat Love it - creepy! Nice reveal from the innocent boy referred to in the beginning to the kill...

Date: 02-16-2009 09:12 pm
Score:

Very thoughtfully written. I enjoyed this passage quite a bit, and was reading it in a search of inspiration. I believe I've found it to be what I needed, thanks! As an inexperienced writer, I don't feel it my place to suggest things. However, I'd personally like to hear more about the capture, perhaps build on his background. "Do you find that strange? That a serial killer went to church every Sunday? Had a loving mother and father?" Like build on that maybe? Other than that, excellent stuff here.