Other Reviews
| By: phoenixrose |
Very interesting story. I am intrigued, and want to read more.
Your grammar is a bit rough, at times, and I found a few tense, spelling, and punctuation errors, but your storyline is captivating.
There is a lot of redundancy. In other words, you say the same things again and again, and as a reader, I don't need that. Once...maybe twice, depending on what you're trying to evoke...is enough.
Just reread and clean it up a bit, and you have a great story!... |
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| By: rodneyduckton |
I am not sure that I would put this in the mystery genre. It is more psychological reflection with no crime or villain. Drama vice mystery. I liked the meanderings but I am not sure how others would react to the technique. Few typos. Good start. ... |
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Date: 02-21-2009 01:49 am
Score: 




Bad first sentence. "Writing in hopes"??
I didn't read on, because a simple mistake like this led me to believe that the writing would be poor.