Review for:
reviewed by Bill Montgomery
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Date: 06-17-2009 03:03 pm
Score: 
Peter, there’s a lot to like about this piece. I like the dialog and I think you’ve really conveyed the emotion that someone feels as they discover that they are being cheated on. It has some punctuation problems, which are inconsequential. It falls down in two ways. First, the narrative jumped back and forth in time about half way through the piece and I couldn’t quite make sense of it. Second, and this might be a contributing factor to my confusion, the POV is not consistently 1st or 3rd person. I think this could be a 4-star piece if these technical details were cleaned up. Keep writing!