Review for: Forgotten Memories (intro-part 3.1)
reviewed by p l reed-wallinger


Date: 01-28-2009 04:33 pm
Score:

Very interesting story. I am intrigued, and want to read more. Your grammar is a bit rough, at times, and I found a few tense, spelling, and punctuation errors, but your storyline is captivating. There is a lot of redundancy. In other words, you say the same things again and again, and as a reader, I don't need that. Once...maybe twice, depending on what you're trying to evoke...is enough. Just reread and clean it up a bit, and you have a great story!