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Date Published: 04-25-2009
Dark Places
by Lynn Cromarty
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Review By: mujo
You clearly have a good control over language, so I’m wondering why you didn’t make this story work. You gave it all a very dreamy, creepy feeling – parallel universe time – and this was really quite enjoyable. But in maintaining this airy and elusive train of narration the punch you wanted to get across in the end, that that was her in the body bag, is lost in an intellectual haze. I had to go back for a second reading to cherry pick those phrases that told me this was actually what you intended.
If you want to kill off your main character at the end of any story it’s well worth your effort making me feel something about it : shock, sadness, outrage, redemption … that’s up to you. What you’ve done here instead is create a world in a bubble – which you did very eloquently – but in doing so you have to pay the price for isolating me from her emotionally. I simply don’t care what happens to her.
Last smallish thing. There are a couple of instances where the husband speaking just clangs so much that it drew me away from the story, making me wonder what the hell you were thinking letting something so weak slip in : “I have made something to eat.� “I don’t think I will believe it unless I do.� He sounds like a robot.
All in all – not bad. But it could have been a lot better.
