



36 comments 5336 views Tags:
urban bum hobo schizophrenic Date Published: 08-23-2008
Scratch's Mark
by Admin Admin
Recent Reviews
Review By: mujo
I liked this story. The internal conflict of the narrator is both compelling and unsettling. But the fundamental problem has already been mentioned in a couple of other reviews – no ending. I’d like to go one step further in my feedback – no middle and no ending. You have a very solid beginning here, and you should capitalize on it.
You’ve created a set-up for the clash of the titans. One the one side we have the good man in dire straights – exposed to the elements as much as he is exposed to the worst of human nature in all its glorious selfishness. On the other side we have the sociopathic alter-ego, permanently sheltered from sight, who will never take the blame for any of his mischief. Fuck dammit – I want to see these two go toe to toe. Show me the blood sweetheart, and show it to me now!
Well done. Now finish what you started.
